English versus Manglish

(This content was copied from an email sent by a friend. I don't know who the owner  of this content is but I hope he or she does not mind me posting it here. All credit goes to him/ her)

Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc.

British English vs. Malaysian English

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you.
Malaysians: No stock.


RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago?
Malaysians: Hello, who call?


ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way?
Malaysians: S-kew me.


WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me.
Malaysians: No need lah.


WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door?
Malaysians: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home.
Malaysians: No need shy shy one lah!

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money.
Malaysians: Where got?

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind.
Malaysians: Don't want lah.

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.
Malaysians: You mad ah?

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here.
Malaysians: Shut up lah!

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU.
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you?
Malaysians: See what, see what?

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION.
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment..
Malaysians: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?
Malaysians: What happened ah? Why like that one lah?

 WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you.
Malaysians: Like that also don't know how to do!

WHEN ONE IS ANGRY
Britons: Would you mind not disturbing me?
Malaysians: Celaka you!


So which would you prefer? Send this to your Malaysian friends and let them have a laugh too. Good day!
Malaysians: Cent O-Lady

Riddle

This is a very easy riddle. I first heard this from a colleague more than a decade ago before we parted ways. I met him again when he was in PNG for a year.

When I first heard him said it in Fuzhou Chinese dialect, I was laughing my head off.

I never remembered how the whole riddle was said except for the last line, and when I met him again in PNG, I asked him to recite it for me again, and to write it down, for record sake. Unfortunately, he forgot how it was said, until a week later.

This is how it is recited in Fuzhou.

Lie di san chio suo tiu oh
Leon beng chau san muan san dien
Mo chun won ngu li sia chau
Na tin hu lion li seh tau


Translation:

Lying three feet away from the bank is a river
On the hills on both banks, grass grows tall

No cattle is allowed to graze there
It is only for the bald monk to wash his head.

There you go .. try solving the riddle!

Singapore - Port Moresby Flight

My entry on Travel Guide to Port Moresby needs some updates.

For readers who are planning to go to Port Moresby, do take note that Air Niugini no longer flies to Port Moresby from Kuala Lumpur International Airport. This service stopped towards the end of March in 2011. Since then, it has increased its flight to Singapore to four times weekly, i.e. on Monday, Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday.

Since I continue to receive feedback that many Malaysians, especially those from rural areas, continue to fear travelling alone to Port Moresby, I hope the following post will assist to allay their fear of not finding their way around Changi International Airport.

For those travelling from Sibu, take note that Malaysia Airlines lands at Terminal 2 but Air Niugini departs from Singapore at Terminal 1. To fly Air Niugini, passengers arriving on Malaysia Airlines will need to go to Terminal 1.

 

After exiting the Arrival Hall at Changi Airport, you will notice the direction signs hanging from the ceiling. Take the escalator to the Departure Hall one level up.

Outside Terminal 2 Arrival Hall

After exiting the Arrival Hall, you will notice the direction signs and the escalator to the Departure Hall

Take the escalator to the Departure Hall from the Arrival Hall

From the top of the escalator, you will see this scene to your right

This scene to your front ...

... and this scene to your left

Take the left path and follow the direction signs to the Skytrain station to go to Terminal 1

Follow the direction showing "Skytrain to T1 & T3"

Continue to follow the sign "Skytrain to T1 & T3" ....

Continue to walk and follow the sign ....

... this is the Skytrain Station to T3 ... continue walking

Skytrain to T1 platform comes  after Skytrain to T3 platform.

Waiting lounge for the Skytrain to Terminal 1

The short ride in the skytrain is free.

 On arrival at Terminal 1, disembark and follow the crowd to exit to Terminal 1 Departure Hall.

Follow the crowd to exit to the Departure Hall of Terminal 1

Exiting Terminal 1 to the Departure Hall

At the Departure Hall, you will notice the giant Flight Information display screen. Stop and search for Air Niugini. From the information here, check to see where Air Niugini check-in counter is. In my case, it was at Row 4 for Air Niugini.

Remember to check the Flight Information to know where Air Niugini check-in counter is

The check-in counter for Air Niugini was at Row 4

Look for "4". That's where the check-in counters are.

At Row 4, look out for the Early Check-In notice stand near the counters for the early check-in opening time.

"Air Niugini" is not displayed on the information display screen. Look for the counter where you notice stocky, dark-skinned Melanesian men queuing up. That would most likely be the Air Niugini counter.

The Air Niugini counter opened at exactly 1900 hours, Singapore time.

After you have checked-in, go to your Air Niugini Departure Gate.

Entrance to the Departure Gate lies close to the check-in counter.

Enter to go to the Departure Gate.

The Departure Gate was D48 for Flight PX393 to Port Moresby

Follow the direction sign to go to PX393 Departure Gate at D48.

The airport is big, so it will take a while for you to reach your departure gate.

Follow the direction sign to Gate D48

Follow the direction sign to Gate D48

Follow the direction sign to Gate D48

Almost there now ....

After walking for 10 minutes, I finally reached D48

 That was easy, wasn't it?